Shitted On 'Em (The Grammy's)

First off, let me state that I did not watch the Grammys. Why would I watch something that does not represent any music that I listen to? Was M.O.P. on there? Did Sean Price did get any props? What about Skyzoo or Torae? Reks put out two dope albums. You're telling me O.C. & Apollo Brown didn't win album of the year? But I seen enough pictures and heard enough news about the shit to tell my side of the story.

I have never been big on award shows. No the Grammys, Source, Vibe, Emmy’s, none of them shits. I mean, who wants to see the “Safe Nigga” win the award every year? So this year for Rap album of the year, the nominees were Nas, Lupe Fiasco, The Roots, Rick Ross, 2 Chainz and the eventually winner, Drake. Okay, first, let me talk about Lupe Fiasco. What the fuck happen to this guy since the original Food & Liquor? Ever since this fool then grew them shitlocks, this guy has been putting out quality of shit. I understand when you go to the Grammys', you want to express yourself, but nigga, put some fucking shoes on. Ass trying to look like the Messiah and shit. I don't even know why he showed up. Your comments towards the president was going to make sure you weren't going to win, homes. Plus, even your dumb looking ass said you weren't going to win. Safe yourself a seat on your couch.

2 Chainz, aka, Tity Boi. When Chainz was known as Tity, I actually liked homeboy, way before Duffle Bag Boy. Even though he was country as hell, when he was down with Luda, I could actually tolerate homeboy. But now?

 

Now I actually sat down and wasted an hour of my life when I listened to his album. And this is what I thought.

I swear, when I heard this, I thought of slavery. Who let this nigga out the cage, Chris Bridges? Why did you let this boy loose? I heard the most simple ass, A-B-C rhymes I have ever heard in my life. But people love this clown. And when I say clown, I mean that the most nicest way I can say it. Look at this fool. Mutha fucka looks like a cross between Darth Varder and Count Blackula. And you wonder why people say the south is light years behind.

Next up is Nas and the Roots. I would have been happy with either or winning. Actually, I really wouldn't have gave a shit who won because winning these awards actually means nothing. Nas and the Roots have been doing it since the early 90's, both dropping their debuts in '94. (Roots dropped Organix! in '93, but that wasn't on a major label.) Now I will say that out of these two albums, "Life Is Good" and "Undun," I feel Nas should have won. Actually, Nas should have won that and best rap song for "Daughters." But let me make it clear when it comes to both and this is just being honest. Nas keeps getting nominated for his albums because it's to keep the "underground heads" happy. Plus, Nas is still spoken upon because of his past beef with Jay-Z. Everybody knows this was Nas' best album since Stillmatic and with the competition, this was his best shot. But don't worry, Nas, your next album WILL WIN A GRAMMY!!! I promise that. Think about Susan Lucci, Halle Berry and Denzel Washington when they just gave it to people to shut them the hell up. As far as the Roots, they are looked at as them good ol' boys since they are on Jimmy Kimmel. To me, their albums have been average since they got on national television. But I know plan as day both acts knew damn well they didn't have a chance on winning.

I'm not even going to waste a paragraph on Rick Ross. I want to get straight to the winner, DRAKE!!!!! Drake, the light skin guy from Canada. The black man that no white person fears. The acceptable nigga. Let me be frank, fuck Drake. I think he's horrible and with that tough image, I'd smack tears out his eyes, but your not suppose to hit bitches, so maybe I wouldn't. His whole persona and image is fraudulent and there is nothing this guy can rhyme about that would ever make me like him. But for this dude to win best rap album is a disrespect to any rapper who has ever been nominated. But let me tell you why he won. Because they knew this guy wouldn't make a mockery during his acceptance speech. (I'll get to The Dream later.) Now like I said, I didn't watch the show and don't even know if they show rap category's on television anymore. But if he did give an acceptance speech, he will never live this down. (Skip to 1:19)

Now let me talk about other shit about this award show that has me talking. So Frank Ocean won R&B album of the year. Let me be the first or maybe second person to say that homeboy only won because he's gay and announced it. Let's keep it real. No, I didn't listen to his album. I can't. My manhood will not allow me to. And maybe homeboy can sing, but I'll never know. I heard how God awful he was on that bullshit "Watch the Throne" album. And the other nominees were Chris Brown and that other guy. (Miguel and I'm only saying that because he never stood a chance even though he had the best album out the three) Let me make it clear. Chris Brown was nominated because of the ass whooping he gave Rhianna a few years ago. This was the "In Yo Face" award. 

Because, nigga, you were not going to win. You got nominated just because they forgave you for embarrassing the show years ago when you beat the breaks of Rhianna. You really think people forgive you for that Ike Turner moment, lil' nigga? Society is never going to forgive, regardless if that big headed bitch is on your arm or not.

Now for the main "Nigga Moment of the Night."

First, Jay-Z, I'm glad you finally decided to dress your age. Now to the Dream. Let me state that you could have a bomb ass 2013, but you will not be allowed in the doors next year for any music award show next year that has less than 10% black people in the crown. You mutha fucking walking stereotype. Why, Dream, why? Why all the Slick Rick gold chains? Why did you bring your ugly ass up there without your glass? Why did you come up there looking like an extra from "Boyz In Da Hood?" I'm glad Shawn made that comment because that was basically him say, "Nigga, you won't embarrass me tonight." Just think if that diva Kanye West was up there. He would have had a skirt on or some leggings and been mad because you would have upped him. Grammy awards, next year, instead of worrying about what women have on, worry about these niggas. (Big difference between black people and niggas)

And with that being said, that is my wrap up on the Grammy awards. I will never waste my time watching this shit because like I said earlier, no one that I listen to is represented. No one. And that's it.
P.S: I'd slide meat up in this chick. Raw!

Hit me up @miketurner911 on twitter. Peace.

Swag?!?!?!?!?

This is your idol. Manhood is changing. Dressing like your woman is now the new thing. Today while I was at work, browsing the Internet like I’m not suppose to be doing, I run into this interview by hip-hop artist, Lord Jamar. He was talking about another fellow rapper by the name of Kanye West and how he has made people think it is acceptable wear kilts, aka, dresses. Let me make this straight, this is not a hip-hop post, but a lot of what I say may be geared towards the hip-hop audience.
I’m in my mid thirties and I wouldn’t dare wear some of the shit I see some men wearing.
 Tight pants.
Big ass belts
Stretch pants
What the fuck? Where the fuck are these man's fathers? My homeboy quoted, "A father's failure." And that's exactly what this shit is. Now in my early 20’s, I did rock two ear rings and have my tongue pierced, but my manhood was never questioned. I use to get poon-tang by the pound, but that’s another story. Also, I never had a man come on to me or even think I swung that way. Even though I don’t have nothing against gay men, that just was never and will never be my thing. But when I did come home with both my ears pierced and my tongue done, my dad went the fuck off. In for real, he should have. Because no father is going to let their son walk around dressed like this. When I was younger, I remember sagging your pants was the thing to do. No, we weren’t showing our ass like they are doing now, but are pants weren’t tight on us like these boys are wearing now. And I remember my father yelling at me, “Pull your got damn pants up. Ni@@as in jail would look at you like sweat meat.” I was young, so I wasn’t trying to hear all that. But back to these man bitches. Now, these young men are wearing jeans that are tight enough that there woman cannot even fit in. I saw another interview today wear another rapper, little Juelz Santana admitted to buying a woman’s belt. What the fuck? That’s what they’re doing in Harlem now? A few years ago, I remember being in the barber shop and they had two kids in there that was on this fashion shit. One of the young boys had on some tight, red pants, a tight shirt, some big ass sneakers with the tongue sticking out and a got damn scarf. A scarf? Now mind you this was the summer time. Not a fucking drop of snow was on the ground. I haven't wore a scarf since I was in elementary school. I don’t even remember what the other cat had on. So anyways, as I’m about to go get my haircut, I accidentally stepped on homeboys foot. Before I got a chance to apologize for scuffing his sneaker, he goes into a panic attack saying, “Oh, someone stepped on my shoe. Someone stepped on my shoe. Oh my goodness!” Now I don’t know if ol’ boy was gay, but I kindly told him, “If you swing, you better make sure it’s a fist.” He looked like he would do all that hand swatting shit. So back to this fashion shit. Things have changed for the worst. What people call swag, I call fag swag because a lot of men are starting to dress feminine like shit. I don’t trip on the pink shirt shit because depending on how you rock it, it can be done. I use to wear pink shirts, but best believe my pants weren’t tight as shit and the color of my pants was not even close to being pink. Since a lot of the stars are wearing this crazy looking shit, from basketball stars to emcees, a lot of the men now of days are following behind their idols. Leggings? For real. My girl wears that. A size 32? I haven't wore that size since I was in high school. A skirt? My daughter looks cute in them. A blouse. A FUCKING BLOUSE!
 
Why God, why? Where were these men's male figures in life. Did they play football or with barbie dolls coming up. My God, how could I go on this long. Why don't I have a Chris Bosh picture on here yet. He's the definition of everything I am talking about. Someone once told me he's not a man's man. I said since he wasn't a man's man, he was border line bitch. Don't believe me?
Men, stop competing with your woman. There's only one man who can get away with wearing heels and that Prince. That mother fucker is 5'2 and has reason. Plus, his track record of women he has ran through is legend. But if your woman, home girl, sister or daughter can wear what you have in mind, put that shit back in the closet. If you want to be a bitch, be a bitch. But don't come out wearing girl shit and claiming you're straight. I don't wear tight clothes because I like my penis to breathe. You people might as well wear thongs, man bitch. And why wear tight ass pants if you are trying to sag them.
Get out that tight out shit and put some men clothes on. Wearing stretch pants on with some timbs. You damn hypocrite. I close you with a few skits. Listen, learn, and man the fuck up.

Mike Turner's Top 10 Hip-Hop Group's

Everybody who knows me knows I am a big hip-hop fan. Real big. Not just hip-hop, but music in general. But while I am preparing to try to get my hip-hop show popping, I'm going to get back to my hip-hop roots on here as well. So here is my top ten hip-hop groups of all time. You see that, MIKE TURNER'S TOP 10. Mines, all mines. I am sure people will be like, "Well what about this group and what about that group." Well let me first say this, some groups then fell the fuck off (Mobb Deep) and some didn't put out enough to even qualify for this (Artifacts). But this is my list. At first, I was only going to do duo's, but was like, forget it and let's just do groups as a whole. And it could only be 10  (Sorry Pete Rock & CL Smooth and BDP). And even though some groups didn't make my top 10, that doesn't take anything away from the groups (Shout out to the Artifacts, Eric B & Rakim, Public Enemy, etc). So here is my top 10, with favorite and least favorite by each group. For real, if you really know me, you already know who my number 1 is.

10. A Tribe Called Quest (Q-Tip, Phofe Dawg, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, Jarobi
My Favorite Album






My Least Favorite
 


 9. Boot Camp Clik (Buckshot, Smiff-N-Wessun, Heltah Skeltah, OGC)
My Favorite Album




My Least Favorite
Don't Have One

8. Little Brother (Phonte, Rapper Big Pooh, 9th Wonder)
My Favorite Album




My Least Favorite
 


7. Outkast (Andre 3000, Big Boi)
Favorite Album


My Least Favorite
 

6. Black Moon (Buckshot, 5ft, DJ Evil Dee)
My Favorite Album
 

My Least Favorite
Don't Have One

5. De La Soul (Posdnous, Dave, Maseo)
My Favorite Album


My Least Favorite
 

4. EPMD (Erick Sermon, Parrish Smith)
My Favorite Album



My Least Favorite
Don't Have One

3. Gangstarr (Guru, DJ Premier)
My Favorite Album


My Least Favorite
 

2. Wu-Tang Clan (Rza, Method Man, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Raekwon, Gza, Ghostface Killah, Inspecktah Deck, U-God, Masta Killa)
My Favorite Album


My Least Favorite


1. M.O.P (Lil' Fame, Billy Danze)
For real, was there really anybody else who was going to be number one?
My Favorite Album






My Least Favorite


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