Shitted On 'Em (The Grammy's)

First off, let me state that I did not watch the Grammys. Why would I watch something that does not represent any music that I listen to? Was M.O.P. on there? Did Sean Price did get any props? What about Skyzoo or Torae? Reks put out two dope albums. You're telling me O.C. & Apollo Brown didn't win album of the year? But I seen enough pictures and heard enough news about the shit to tell my side of the story.

I have never been big on award shows. No the Grammys, Source, Vibe, Emmy’s, none of them shits. I mean, who wants to see the “Safe Nigga” win the award every year? So this year for Rap album of the year, the nominees were Nas, Lupe Fiasco, The Roots, Rick Ross, 2 Chainz and the eventually winner, Drake. Okay, first, let me talk about Lupe Fiasco. What the fuck happen to this guy since the original Food & Liquor? Ever since this fool then grew them shitlocks, this guy has been putting out quality of shit. I understand when you go to the Grammys', you want to express yourself, but nigga, put some fucking shoes on. Ass trying to look like the Messiah and shit. I don't even know why he showed up. Your comments towards the president was going to make sure you weren't going to win, homes. Plus, even your dumb looking ass said you weren't going to win. Safe yourself a seat on your couch.

2 Chainz, aka, Tity Boi. When Chainz was known as Tity, I actually liked homeboy, way before Duffle Bag Boy. Even though he was country as hell, when he was down with Luda, I could actually tolerate homeboy. But now?

 

Now I actually sat down and wasted an hour of my life when I listened to his album. And this is what I thought.

I swear, when I heard this, I thought of slavery. Who let this nigga out the cage, Chris Bridges? Why did you let this boy loose? I heard the most simple ass, A-B-C rhymes I have ever heard in my life. But people love this clown. And when I say clown, I mean that the most nicest way I can say it. Look at this fool. Mutha fucka looks like a cross between Darth Varder and Count Blackula. And you wonder why people say the south is light years behind.

Next up is Nas and the Roots. I would have been happy with either or winning. Actually, I really wouldn't have gave a shit who won because winning these awards actually means nothing. Nas and the Roots have been doing it since the early 90's, both dropping their debuts in '94. (Roots dropped Organix! in '93, but that wasn't on a major label.) Now I will say that out of these two albums, "Life Is Good" and "Undun," I feel Nas should have won. Actually, Nas should have won that and best rap song for "Daughters." But let me make it clear when it comes to both and this is just being honest. Nas keeps getting nominated for his albums because it's to keep the "underground heads" happy. Plus, Nas is still spoken upon because of his past beef with Jay-Z. Everybody knows this was Nas' best album since Stillmatic and with the competition, this was his best shot. But don't worry, Nas, your next album WILL WIN A GRAMMY!!! I promise that. Think about Susan Lucci, Halle Berry and Denzel Washington when they just gave it to people to shut them the hell up. As far as the Roots, they are looked at as them good ol' boys since they are on Jimmy Kimmel. To me, their albums have been average since they got on national television. But I know plan as day both acts knew damn well they didn't have a chance on winning.

I'm not even going to waste a paragraph on Rick Ross. I want to get straight to the winner, DRAKE!!!!! Drake, the light skin guy from Canada. The black man that no white person fears. The acceptable nigga. Let me be frank, fuck Drake. I think he's horrible and with that tough image, I'd smack tears out his eyes, but your not suppose to hit bitches, so maybe I wouldn't. His whole persona and image is fraudulent and there is nothing this guy can rhyme about that would ever make me like him. But for this dude to win best rap album is a disrespect to any rapper who has ever been nominated. But let me tell you why he won. Because they knew this guy wouldn't make a mockery during his acceptance speech. (I'll get to The Dream later.) Now like I said, I didn't watch the show and don't even know if they show rap category's on television anymore. But if he did give an acceptance speech, he will never live this down. (Skip to 1:19)

Now let me talk about other shit about this award show that has me talking. So Frank Ocean won R&B album of the year. Let me be the first or maybe second person to say that homeboy only won because he's gay and announced it. Let's keep it real. No, I didn't listen to his album. I can't. My manhood will not allow me to. And maybe homeboy can sing, but I'll never know. I heard how God awful he was on that bullshit "Watch the Throne" album. And the other nominees were Chris Brown and that other guy. (Miguel and I'm only saying that because he never stood a chance even though he had the best album out the three) Let me make it clear. Chris Brown was nominated because of the ass whooping he gave Rhianna a few years ago. This was the "In Yo Face" award. 

Because, nigga, you were not going to win. You got nominated just because they forgave you for embarrassing the show years ago when you beat the breaks of Rhianna. You really think people forgive you for that Ike Turner moment, lil' nigga? Society is never going to forgive, regardless if that big headed bitch is on your arm or not.

Now for the main "Nigga Moment of the Night."

First, Jay-Z, I'm glad you finally decided to dress your age. Now to the Dream. Let me state that you could have a bomb ass 2013, but you will not be allowed in the doors next year for any music award show next year that has less than 10% black people in the crown. You mutha fucking walking stereotype. Why, Dream, why? Why all the Slick Rick gold chains? Why did you bring your ugly ass up there without your glass? Why did you come up there looking like an extra from "Boyz In Da Hood?" I'm glad Shawn made that comment because that was basically him say, "Nigga, you won't embarrass me tonight." Just think if that diva Kanye West was up there. He would have had a skirt on or some leggings and been mad because you would have upped him. Grammy awards, next year, instead of worrying about what women have on, worry about these niggas. (Big difference between black people and niggas)

And with that being said, that is my wrap up on the Grammy awards. I will never waste my time watching this shit because like I said earlier, no one that I listen to is represented. No one. And that's it.
P.S: I'd slide meat up in this chick. Raw!

Hit me up @miketurner911 on twitter. Peace.

Dear Hip Hop 2010

So the year is over. And once again, another ratchet of a year if you are a hip hop fan. Why do I say ratchet? Have you continued to hear all the terrible music? (My finger is still pointing towards the South) You have had an artist or two who have made it acceptable to make batty boy music. (GAY) Which is cool if that is your thing, but let’s not call that shit hip hop. The underground still gets no love and it seems like when people reach a certain age, they need to stop emceeing. Well that’s what the critics say, but for real, fuck the critics. Let’s just get into my top ten hip hop album of the year and Frisbee throwers for the year. Now mind you that I did not listen to every hip hop album that came out this year and I know I am missing some good stuff. So let me give you the list of things I missed out on, but will listen to…….eventually.

Black Milk: Album of the Year

DJ Premier: Year Round Records: Get Used To Us

Vinnie Paz: Season of the Assassin

9^th Wonder: 9^th Opus

Celph Titled: Nineteen Ninety Now

Here’s my list of albums that were good, but did not make the cut.

Big Boi: Sir Luscious Left Foot

Black Sheep: From the Black Pool of Genius

Pack FM: I Fucking Hate Rappers

Wu-Massacre

Now here are my top ten albums of the year. (That I heard in no particular order)

10. Rah Digga: Classic

9. El Da Sensei: GT2: Nu World

8. Fat Joe: The Darkside, Vol. 1

7. Freeway: The Stimulus Package

6. Ghostface Killah: Apollo Kids

5. Little Brother: LeftBack

4: Rick Ross: Teflon Don (I know some of you are like, “What the fuck, but the man did put out a good LP. I’m far from bias.)

3: Skyzool & Illmind: Live From the Tapedeck

2: Slum Village: Villa Manifesto

1: Statik Selektah & Termanology Are 1982

Now there was some stuff that my hip hop heads up and I just didn’t get into it (Roc Marciano), but it is not as bad as this list I am about to drop on you. Now once again, let me make this clear. Some shit, I will not listen to because I know it is going to be bad. So let me give you the list of, “I Know It’s Shit List, But I Don’t Like Doo Doo In My Ear List)

4: Drake: Thank Me Later

3: Ice Cube: How The West Was Won

2: Nelly: 5.0

1: Nicki Manaj: Pink Friday.

Besides Ice Cube who has just plain old lost it, I wish you could put these other three clowns. You know what, I’mma say two. No one gives a fuck about Nelly anymore. I never have to begin with, but put that bi-polar bitch and Droopy the Dog looking dude on a sky rocket straight to another planet where they can make gay love all night. I know you don’t think Drake is straight, right?

Now for my top 5 Frisbee throwing albums of stuff I heard this year. And this list might shock a lot of you. It shocked me, but hey, my ears were the judge of it. This is in no order.

5: B.O.B: The Adventures of Bobby Ray. Now I don’t even know why I listened to this piece of shit to begin with and wow, was I mad I wasted about an hour of free time when it could have been dedicated to something else.

4: Inspektah Deck: Manifesto. It hurts me to put this on the list. It really does since I know homeboy personally. But Deck, I need to rap to you about your beat selection and some of these guests you put on here. I NEED A WU TANG ALBUM, not a “Let me do what everybody else is doing” album.

3: Kanye West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Let’s not forget that this has over 100 fucking people on it and homeboy couldn’t come solo on some of the songs. But when this nigga started making songs geared towards the gay club, that’s when he lost me. But then again, this might finally be his coming out party that he has wanted to do for years.

2: The Roots: How I Got Over. I thought this album was one long ass depressing song. Every song sounded the same and like I said, if I had a gun and I was going through some shit at the moment, I would have killed myself. This album was more depressing than that song, “Ain’t No Sunshine Until She Comes.”

1: Redman: Reggie. Now Redman, if this was an experiment, it failed and get back to what we know. I don’t know what the fuck you were thinking with this bull shit. Maybe it was the weed you were smoking. But even you said it was an “Experiment.” With that being said, get back to that Muddy Waters shit.

And there you have it. I know some will be like, “Well where does so and so fit? If it’s not on MY top ten, it fits somewhere 11 on back. Peace. And support real hip hop.

What More Can I Say?

Been trying to tell y'all this bird can't sing.

Don't Believe the Hype '09

2009 is almost over and damn, the music has been horrible. Before the end of the year, I will give out my top ten hip hop and R&B albums of the year. But for now, I am so sick of the new and upping comers. Now people will call me a “Hater” (Still hate that term), but it’s like I can’t even give an opinion without people saying I hate on everything. Like I’ve said before, I don’t jock what’s in right now unless it really is good. But here is my top 10 list of “Don’t Believe the Hype ‘09 in no particular order. Now some will say I’m hating, I say I’m just don’ like they shit and don’t see the big deal. So here you go. And hate, hate, hate. I love it.

10: Drake
Now I don't see the hype ab out home boy at all. I have never heard a full song from him, but from the verses I have heard, am I suppose to be impressed? Dude sounds like a light skin Lil' Wayne and I'm sure you know how I feel about him.

9: Lil' Bow Wow

Wack, has always been wack, and signing with Cash Money will mean you will continue to be wack. Tattoos and cussing don't make you tough.

8: Gucci Mane

If I ranked them, this dude would probably be number one. Do I really have to say anything?

7.: Jim Jones

Sucks just as bad as his ad libs. And his jeans are tight. Talking about Kanye's pants are tight. Negro please. You better check ya'self.

6: Joe Buddens

Hip Hops 2009's version on Yung Bird. A C+ rapper known for starting shit, then taking it back. Might be a light skin thing.

5: Nicki Manij

Is this wack broad serious? Her flow sucks, her image sucks, and she's going to have to suck to make it. What happen to real female emcees?

4: Brandy's Little Brother

Whatever this cornball does in life, he's always going to be known for the title I gave him. Regardless of the collabs you do with emcees, you suck.

3: Rihanna and The Dream


One question, can these two even really sing?

2: Rick Ross

He's ignored all the taunts. Maybe because people who listen to real music have ignored his fat ass.

1: Wale

First time I saw dude, I said, typical, get with the in chick of the moment. (Lady Gaga) Bad thing was, the song was horrible and everything I heard after was bad. Have you heard "Press Your Weave" yet? Need I say more?

So there you go. My top 10 or 11 list of, "Get the hell out of here with that bull shit." Did I miss anybody?

T. Fox is Coming...

My man, T. Fox is dropping his new album, "The Great Junction" sometime in 2010, dropping on Tasteful Licks Records.
http://www.tastefullicks.com/

I have had the privileged of knowing this man for over 20 years and knows this man has the skills to make it in the music business. You know if I cosign something, it really has to be a big deal. So when it drops, I need y'all to support this joint. Hey, and I made the cover! (Top right hand corner) So go show some love! Peace.

http://www.tastefullicks.com/releases.cfm/artist/TFOX/product_id/165/