That Dope!

“Crack is wack.” That’s what Whitney Houston said. But as I have seen, some crack heads have recovered from their addiction while others are still struggling from it. Here is my top ten crack heads. Some have recovered while relapsing and others are still on that shit.

10. Ray Charles

The movie alone told you home boy didn't give a shit. Maybe he couldn't see what he was snorting. (I know I'm wrong) "You got the right one, baby" all right. But rest in peace.

9. Rick James

I know you remember hearing about Rick tying some broad up and beating the shit out of her. Also, you may remember hearing how he made the woman smoke crack all day. And you think when he wrote "Party All the Time", he really was talking bout dancing and shit?

8. Michael Irvin

In 2005, Michael Irvin was on his way to a furniture store. As he was pulled over, the police officers found a crack pipe in his car. When was the last time you just happen to have a crac pipe laying around in your car?

7. Robert Downey, Jr.

In the 90's and early 2000's, if you listened to the news, this mug was getting arrested over and over for getting busted with dope. But he did eventually turn himself around and started making big movies.

6. DMX

For real, do I need to even explain anything for this dude? When he first came out as an rapper, he sounded like he was on crack. Look at his mannerism. He has crack head tendencies. How do I know crack head tendencies? Aww, I think every family has at least one crack head in it.

5. Richard Pryor

Richard himself would tell you in some of his jokes that he was on that dope. Did you watch "JoJo Dancer, Your Life is Calling?" Watch this clip and you tell me.

4. Charlie Sheen

This year, you couldn't go a week without hearing about this dude. I mean, c'mon now. In the 80's and 90's, this dude was getting arrested week after week for being doped up. This dude even said crack is okay if you can manage it socially. True words from a crack head.

3. Marion Berry

In 1990, the FBI bust Marion Barion in a hotel for crack while he was "Partying" with some hookers. Not only was he arrested and spent time in jail, but this mother fucker was reelected as mayor of DC. And y'all wonder why there are so many crack heads in DC and the roads are fucked up.

2. Whitney Houston

Whitney, Whitney, Whitney. Now I could have linked Bobby Brown to this post, but in my eyes, I don't think he was bigger than any of the previous 8 I named. Now Whitney was the shit in the 80's and 90's. And then she married Bobby Brown. Now I always thought Whitney had that ghetto mentality to begin with. I mean, she is from Newark and Newark ain't no easy place to grow up. But every since she hit the pipe, it's been nothing but a downfall. Too many examples to pin point. Even though she said crack was wack, bitch please.

1. Oprah Winfrey

Now if this bitch can do crack and be one of the wealthiest people in the world, some one pass me a crack pipe. Oprah was straight hood with her shit. Made her own crack and was free basing. That's what I'm talking about, Oprah.

So for all you crack heads reading this, you can make it if Oprah can. What the hell am I talking about if you are reading this. All the electronics have already been sold for that rock. But readers, if I am missing anybody, let me know. Or if you think my rankings are a little messed up, let me know. Peace.

It's Been a Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You...

I know, I know it's been a minute since I wrote an actually blog, but hey, HE'S BACK!!! And I make a promise to take this more serious. Plus, I been inspired by an ex-coworker who I see updating his blog every week.
http://erickochliving.blogspot.com/
So where have I been? What's up with the Durty Truth? This has been a few questions that I get from time to time when I do sign on to messenger. Let me answer the first question first because that second one might be a little lengthy.
So where have I been?
Chilling.
Relaxing.
Focusing.
Restarting.
Dealing with school. (Maintaining this 3.75 GPA is kinda tough.)
Being daddy.
Working (Still waiting on this got damn government job.)
I know these are not excuses for not writing and keeping everybody in-tuned with my comical life and the bull shit that comes along with it, but hey. After the talk show bull shit, I had to refocus. I got things up my sleeves, but with these wack ass hours, I gotta wait until I get a regular ass schedule again.

So what exactly happen with the Durty Truth? Why aren't you on there anymore. First off, shout out to Mr. Lex. Been my ace boom coon for the past 13 years, way before the show. That's been my brother for years and the only person from the panel who I have talked to on a weekly basis. And when we rap, we rap about life, not the Durty Truth. Because when I said I was done with the show, I was DONE! And I meant that to the fullest. So where did it go wrong? People would say on New Years, but it was actually before that. I always felt the show was getting out of hand. But I was loyal to Lex because he gave me the opportunity to be on HIS show. I knew with me, we could bring some laughter to the people who listened. But with the show, it was getting out of hand for me. We didn't have topics, we weren't promoting (Myself included), and the show just sounded like niggas talking. So then New Years came. And mutha fuckas thought I was suppose to act ignorant in a damn restaurant and in public. People think I was suppose to be like Hulk Hogan all day, wrestling people 24/7. Let me say this. The shit that comes out of my mouth isn't an act or staged. When you take me there, you get what you get. But I was raised a certain way and if you listened to some of the shows, people had it in their mind that I thought I was better than them. Well in actually reality, I am. Why? Because you people had the nerve to question me on that. Not one time did I say I was better than anybody.
Was I better comedian?
Yes.
Was I good at hosting?
Yes.
Was I good at letting callers get their words out, then booting them the fuck off the phone?
Yes.
Was I the star of the show?
Hmmmm.
Is the show better without me?
You tell me.

So on my very last show, when we had Mike #2, I was just being me. But certain people thought I was sabotaging ol' boy. Anybody who knows me personally knows everything was all in jokes with me. If you listened to the show, you heard me saying over and over again, "I'm just playing." People actually thought I was on Facebook and telling people to call in and dog homeboy. Hello, people was already on that piece saying they didn't like him. But that's not here or there. When I was muted for about twenty minutes, people was on the show saying I felt some type of way and was nervous about homeboy taking my spot. Seriously, I didn't personally care who took my spot because there is only one Mike. So listening to that shit made me realize that niggas on the show was fake as fuck. Then I heard the show the week after and heard that I should be happy Lex was giving me my own show because one of the other panel members was more popular than me. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Lets be honest. 3/4 of the people who called in knew the other panel members personally. So if anybody who called in became cool with me, that was a friendship earned, not on some "I know this person" shit. But it's cool. It's cool because I was already done with the show. I was going to do the Sunday gig, but I honestly did not want to start all over with new people. Even though some of the people on the show felt how they felt about me, I didn't know any of the people on the show on a personal level besides Lex. Plus, if I was going to do the show, I needed it to be perfect. I didn't want it to be rushed or forced. I'm not saying that it won't come down the line, but if it happens, its going to be the shit, fool. Trust me.
I took down all the Durty Truth stuff and vacated myself from the page because if I'm not on the show, why give a fuck about what the show is doing? Plus, it was Lex's show. He let that shit be known. Haha. Me and him still laugh at that shit. There has been a few people who called in to the show who have kept in touch with me and it's mad love. And I honestly wish nothing but the best for the show. Who knows, I might come back if it was meant to be. But for now, Turner is rolling dolo. Whatever I do when it comes to entertainment, Lex knows he is a part of it. My fav five don't have to worry about shit. (TFOX, Mr. Lex, L-Boogie, Simmons, & D Clubbs.) One of these people don't know that is about to be four because I don't do the friendship shit on a temporary basis. So with that being said, it's time to get restarted.
Let's go!

The 2.5 Million Dollar Question

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/durtytruth/2011/02/24/the-durty-truth-show

So the other night on the radio show (Shout out Durty Truth), I made a comment on how I wouldn't kiss a man for 2.5 million dollars. 2.5? Hell no! Not any amount of money. None at all. I posted a thread on Facebook and people ran with it. I will say the women on their WILL kiss another woman for that amount. Let me say this. There is a big difference and I mean a BIG ASS DIFFERENCE between a woman's lip and a man's. From what I know from kissing women, they have soft lips. Now I don't know how kissing a man is, but I'm pretty sure we have rougher skin than women. And I then said time after time after time, if you kiss a man for money, then you are gay. However you want to look at it. If you do anything that you would with another man that you would with a woman, you are gay, no matter how you look at it. Now I understand it may look sexy for two women to kiss, but still, you are a lesbian whoever you look at it. There is no such thing as kissing the same sex and claiming you are 100% straight. And trust me, I don't knock your hustle, but don't get mad at me because I don't swing that way. I love pussy and I then said that on a number of times on the show and in real life. I said before that I don't like telling secrets to a man because that means my mouth is too close to his neck. I said the only person who is allowed to touch my head besides my son's is my damn barber. Ain't no man on man action coming from these parts. And no, it has nothing to do with being a homophobe. That just ain't me in my personal life or "For 2.5 Million dollar, would you" life. Sorry, I ain't even kissing another nigga on his cheek. Get the fuck out of here! And for you actors, say what you want, but that ain't no acting kissing the same sex. That shit has had to be done before. Talking about, "Cut, we need to do that scene again."

Mike Turner 2.1

So it's a new year and all ready, it's a 50/50 good/bad ratio. Things on the home front are going great, but then there's the "Entertainment" side. Can I first say that I am me 24/7, but you have to bring it to me to get a certain reaction? Now I do not know how many people follow me here or on the Durty Truth. Well let me say I do not know what's going on with the show right about now. After last weeks show, you would think I would say fuck the show, but it is what it is. I take nothing personal and there was a Mike Turner before that shit, I mean show, came about. From the feedback, people were pissed that the show has been canceled or put on hiatus for Wednesday. But before the show, Mike Turner had a life. Mike Turner was writing rhymes and going to school for trying to actually get his name out there somehow and someway. The Durty Truth was an opening, letting me get a taste of how it feels to see how that lifestyle might be. But it seems like on New Years Eve, people didn't get the entertainment they wanted.
LOOK, I AM SORRY FOR NOT ARGUING AND BEING LOUD!!!!!! GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
But do you think when Hulk Hogan gets out the ring, he is wrestling 24/7? Hello, I do have a calm side. And I'm not going to address people directly. But me and Lex will be cool until I die. And I feel like that with the other people on the show as well. I don't take anything personal besides my kids and maybe one other thing. But if my quote, quote friends do not back me when something is being said, then I think I better get myself another set of friends.

So what's the 2.1 mean? I will let people assume and think what it is. It's not hard, but it's a new Turner. I'm going for the gusto. My boy Lex then gave me the opportunity to see how radio works and I'm going to possibly run with it. I have so much writings in the archives that need to be let loose (Shout out to Sassy for reading some) where I can really make a name for myself. I have a story I have been sitting on for years that I need to let loose. Cause see, it's not always about talking shit or going in on people. I do have a normal life where it doesn't evolve around talking shit all the time.

Now from what I been seeing, the Durty Truth will find out what will go on with the show. If it is anything like last week, I believe it needs to end. You had "Family" going at it like they were fighting for the last piece of chicken and shit. "Family" and "Friends" shouldn't be going at one another like that. But hey, every family has its misfits here and there. Honestly, I do not even know if I would feel comfortable dealing with some of those people right now. Maybe I need to distance myself for a short time. Or maybe really looking into doing something on my own. I think I can hold down hosting a show, right?

2.1= Mike Turner 2011. Duh.

Dear Hip Hop 2010

So the year is over. And once again, another ratchet of a year if you are a hip hop fan. Why do I say ratchet? Have you continued to hear all the terrible music? (My finger is still pointing towards the South) You have had an artist or two who have made it acceptable to make batty boy music. (GAY) Which is cool if that is your thing, but let’s not call that shit hip hop. The underground still gets no love and it seems like when people reach a certain age, they need to stop emceeing. Well that’s what the critics say, but for real, fuck the critics. Let’s just get into my top ten hip hop album of the year and Frisbee throwers for the year. Now mind you that I did not listen to every hip hop album that came out this year and I know I am missing some good stuff. So let me give you the list of things I missed out on, but will listen to…….eventually.

Black Milk: Album of the Year

DJ Premier: Year Round Records: Get Used To Us

Vinnie Paz: Season of the Assassin

9^th Wonder: 9^th Opus

Celph Titled: Nineteen Ninety Now

Here’s my list of albums that were good, but did not make the cut.

Big Boi: Sir Luscious Left Foot

Black Sheep: From the Black Pool of Genius

Pack FM: I Fucking Hate Rappers

Wu-Massacre

Now here are my top ten albums of the year. (That I heard in no particular order)

10. Rah Digga: Classic

9. El Da Sensei: GT2: Nu World

8. Fat Joe: The Darkside, Vol. 1

7. Freeway: The Stimulus Package

6. Ghostface Killah: Apollo Kids

5. Little Brother: LeftBack

4: Rick Ross: Teflon Don (I know some of you are like, “What the fuck, but the man did put out a good LP. I’m far from bias.)

3: Skyzool & Illmind: Live From the Tapedeck

2: Slum Village: Villa Manifesto

1: Statik Selektah & Termanology Are 1982

Now there was some stuff that my hip hop heads up and I just didn’t get into it (Roc Marciano), but it is not as bad as this list I am about to drop on you. Now once again, let me make this clear. Some shit, I will not listen to because I know it is going to be bad. So let me give you the list of, “I Know It’s Shit List, But I Don’t Like Doo Doo In My Ear List)

4: Drake: Thank Me Later

3: Ice Cube: How The West Was Won

2: Nelly: 5.0

1: Nicki Manaj: Pink Friday.

Besides Ice Cube who has just plain old lost it, I wish you could put these other three clowns. You know what, I’mma say two. No one gives a fuck about Nelly anymore. I never have to begin with, but put that bi-polar bitch and Droopy the Dog looking dude on a sky rocket straight to another planet where they can make gay love all night. I know you don’t think Drake is straight, right?

Now for my top 5 Frisbee throwing albums of stuff I heard this year. And this list might shock a lot of you. It shocked me, but hey, my ears were the judge of it. This is in no order.

5: B.O.B: The Adventures of Bobby Ray. Now I don’t even know why I listened to this piece of shit to begin with and wow, was I mad I wasted about an hour of free time when it could have been dedicated to something else.

4: Inspektah Deck: Manifesto. It hurts me to put this on the list. It really does since I know homeboy personally. But Deck, I need to rap to you about your beat selection and some of these guests you put on here. I NEED A WU TANG ALBUM, not a “Let me do what everybody else is doing” album.

3: Kanye West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Let’s not forget that this has over 100 fucking people on it and homeboy couldn’t come solo on some of the songs. But when this nigga started making songs geared towards the gay club, that’s when he lost me. But then again, this might finally be his coming out party that he has wanted to do for years.

2: The Roots: How I Got Over. I thought this album was one long ass depressing song. Every song sounded the same and like I said, if I had a gun and I was going through some shit at the moment, I would have killed myself. This album was more depressing than that song, “Ain’t No Sunshine Until She Comes.”

1: Redman: Reggie. Now Redman, if this was an experiment, it failed and get back to what we know. I don’t know what the fuck you were thinking with this bull shit. Maybe it was the weed you were smoking. But even you said it was an “Experiment.” With that being said, get back to that Muddy Waters shit.

And there you have it. I know some will be like, “Well where does so and so fit? If it’s not on MY top ten, it fits somewhere 11 on back. Peace. And support real hip hop.