Sunday, December 19, 2010

Mike Turner Meets the Wu: December 18th, 2010

So people are quick to say that Wu-Tang is irrelevant. Oh yeah? Well fuck you. Well I have a history with one of these dudes and if you know me, you know who, but I will not run down the history. So last night in the cold, I became a fan for a minute. You see, with this dude, me and him have always been cool where I do not even talk music with him. I talk to him like a normal ass dude and vice versa. So I seen dude over the Thanksgiving holiday and told him how I saw that him and the Clan was coming to town in December. He checked his I-Phone and said yeah and that I could bring a couple friends.
Say word?

Since I didn't have anybody particular that I wanted to come with me, I posted a message on Facebook and said that if anybody was interested in going with me to let me know. And oh boy, did it bring out the groupie bitches and goofy ass niggas. And I mean what I say. People who I don't talk to on a regular or broads who only have me as a friend because I'm friends with someone they know. Get the hell out of here. So eventually, my mind was made up and I let them know, "Don't invite nobody." Cool.
So I wait.
And I wait.
And I wait to hear back from my sister. She is the real person who has the connect with homeboy even though I know him.
I get e-mails and calls from the dudes and I'm like, I will let you know what's up when I find something out. I know they probably thought I was bull shitting. So yesterday comes and I go get fresh, just in case I do go to the concert. I hadn't heard from my sister, so I didn't know what was up.
I get the text. My name is on the VIP. Say word?
So me and the dudes who were rolling with me drove to the place they were performing mad early. I didn't want no bull shit to go down and had to make sure I was on that list. I walk in the line were I was suppose to get my tickets.
"Mike Turner."
"I'm sorry, but your name isn't on the list."
Panic mode.
"What the fuck!" I think to myself.
So I call my sister and ask her what the deal is. She says she will call me back.

One drink.
Two drinks.
Three drinks.

Ok. I'm nice now. So I call my sister back an hour later and said my name should be on the list now. Cool. So me and the dudes get back in the line and we try again.
"Mike Turner."
The guy looks down the list and I look down with him. "Sorry, but your..."
I interrupt him because I saw the nickname that everyone calls me and the emcee calls me.
"That's me right there, Michael J."
I show the dude my license and it's a good thing that I have Jr. on my license when I explained to him the J part.
Cool. We're in there now.
So we have to get in the line to now get into the State Theater now.
Cool. We in here.
The place is packed. Packed. There was a group on stage performing, but it wasn't Wu, so fuck em. All I am thinking now is, how am I going to get backstage. Before we got inside the theater, I had talked to a few people and they told me where I should be when the Clan's bus arrived.
Cool. We're in there. I think.
It's freezing outside. Cold as hell. One of the dudes who is with me is getting on my fucking nerves because he is trying to freestyle and is tripping all over himself. Trust me, his hanging pass has been revoked like shit. There were people outside, inside the smoking area, doing the same shit we were doing, waiting to see the Wu.
About two hours pass before we start seeing buses coming through. But by this time, Wu's opening act, La the Darkman was performing and a lot of the people in the smoking section had went inside. But right when the buses started pulling up, people made their way back outside. So the buses start to empty. Okay, no Wu-Tang, looks like a few weed carriers. While this one bus is emptying out, another bus pulls up. You can hear the people in the smoking section screaming, Wu, Wu." Me, i was being cool. Fuck all that yelling, I'm about to be backstage. I think.
So finally, the Wu start to come out the bus. First was Masta Killa. Okay. Cool. Then out comes Method Man. Cool. Finally, my dude, Inspektah Deck comes out the bus.
"Deck, Deck." I holler.
He comes over and gives me pound. I introduce him to my boys. One of my boys was acting cool while the other was in groupie mode. Deck tells the security to let me and my boys come through the gates. But what was funny was a few of the people on the side of me saying, "Come on, man. Say that you know me."
"Beat it, kid. I'm VIP, bitches" is what I wanted to say, but all I said was, "Man, get the fuck out here."
So we are now in the theater and all the Wu is walking right past us. I'm geeking. So I see them all walking up these steps with their entourage and other people who were outside with me. I'm wondering, damn, can I go up these steps. I did get invited back here by one of the rappers. So nervously, I began to creep with my boys right behind me. And as I get towards the back, I see some of the Clan in front of me. And guess what? I didn't act nervous. Nigga, I'm Mike mutha fuck'n Turner. What I look like getting nervous? So I walk though the crowd of wall huggers and dap up Ghostface. I'm like this, if I know one, I know all you niggas. So the one goofy nigga with me starts acting real dumb, real groupie like, asking if anybody had any weed. Since in my mind, homeboy was cut off, he could do what he wanted. I was hoping one of these niggas whooped his ass. So since Ghost is the closest, I ask him if I could get a picture with him. All the years that I have seen these dudes, I have never been this close to them in person besides Deck and Meth, but the Meth thing is another story. Somehow the groupie got in the picture.
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Then Meth came and, boom, another picture. No groupie this time. I look mad from all the weed smoke in the air.
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What the hell. Why not double my luck.
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So it's about to be show time. A couple goofy white bitches are in the back, smoking weed from out an apple. The groupie dude I am with decides to go smoke with these broads while me and my boy leave. So I am going down stairs to watch the Wu perform and it's on the stage. Talking about cissed. Now I wasn't seen by the crowd, but I was actually on the stage. They tore it up also. I heard them go through a lot of their classic as well as a few solo shots. Good times. And my oh my what women will do to have sex with a rapper. I seen a couple of the weed carriers taking a few of the groupies back up the stairs, bang the chicks back out and come back down stairs like nothing happen. So after the show is over, the Clan goes back up stairs. So it's time to go back up stairs. Well that's what I thought. The security dude wasn't trying to let me back up the stairs. But someone saw the friction I had gotten into. Method Man saw the dude fucking with me and said,
"Yo, that's VIP, let him up."
Oh shit. This nigga remembered me. I'm the man.
Now I'm upstairs again, the groupie dude is the last thing on my mind. Me and my boy already X'ed homeboy out. I run across Deck and for some reason, I never go a pic with homeboy. He asked me why I didn't get a picture at Thanksgiving and I was like, that's different. I don't look at you like a rapper. But since the Clan is around, click.
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Damn, that's little ass Raekwon? Deck, two for one.
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I told Deck thanks for letting me come to the show and he said no prob. Dapped him up, told him I'll see him again since he is cool with my family and seeing him is nothing new. So let me try to link up with the rest of the Clan. Now mind you that all the Clan was there besides RZA. Yeah, U-God and Cappadonna was there also, but for real, I needed pictures with the main ones. Sorry. And it looked like Masta Killa's woman was with him and his kids. She must have been like, "Ain't none of these white groupie bitches fucking my man."
So everyone knows my favorite emcee is the GZA. And I had daped him up, told him peace and everything, but for some reason, this nigga made me nervous. But as the Clan was about to leave and I wasn't about to do the "Male Groupie" thing like ol' boy wanted to, it was time to end this shit right now and get my picture with GZA. So it's do or time. I notice GZA was scooping this chick who was obviously willing to give homeboy some pussy.
"Yo GZA, can I get a pic?
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Night complete.


Sassy Ass on December 19, 2010 at 6:57 PM said...

LMAO @ "There was a group on stage performing, but it wasn't Wu, so fuck em." Dat's what the fuck i'm talkin' bout Mike!!! Glad you had a great time and thanks for postin' pics. I'm like you... i hate groupie ass bitches & niggas. my ex sounded like he was about to suck jay z's dick when he walked up in the same barber shop he gets his hair cut at. sucka ass.

Mike Turner on December 20, 2010 at 6:55 PM said...

No doubt, Sassy. You know they will be in the area for New Years, so maybe I can hook something up. We'll see.



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