Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Love You

Abuse is not and will not ever be cool. I'm writing this because a close female friend of mines is going through some things that I want to touch up on and I just want to inform women to leave once it happens. Not when it happens again, but right away.

Now there are two types of abuse I have heard in my life, physical and verbal. Coming up, I use to witness physical abuse in my house a lot. I had seen it so much, it was a common thing. I never got use to it, but I knew what I was seeing was not right at all. I was too young to know what happen, but all I know was I did not like seeing my mother and father fighting all night long. I don't want people to think it was a one way street, but my mom could always hold her own. But I always knew it wasn't right to see my father striking my mother and vice versa. That's one thing I can say I never liked about my father coming up and would never agree with, whatever was the cause of it.

I always heard that when a man sees his father abusing women, they will most likely end up doing the same thing. Well let me say that statement is total bull shit! As angry as I have been over the years with females I have dealt with, I have never stroke a female. Now I can admit that I have grabbed them to let them know, "Leave me alone", but have I ever left a mark on a woman? No. That has never been me. I can actually control my anger. But one thing I can say is when I say I want to be left alone, I want to be left alone. I can admit that I am more of a verbal abuser than anything. My words cut. And I mean deep. But one thing that a lot of people do not know about me, I will never be the one to start an argument. I guess what I am saying is every man that has witnessed abuse at a young age will not follow in their father's footsteps. In no way am I condoning verbal abuse and some people react in different ways, but everybody has a boiling point. Some women know how to push it, some men know how to ignore it, some men turn violently. The thing is, all three of these things are wrong.

Women and I say women because it is more women who will push a man to turn into violence, you know what to say to piss men off. Regardless if you joke about the size of their penis or what they are doing and not doing, you know the exact words to make your man snap. In know way am I saying it is cool for men to react to what you say to them, but women must learn what to say and what not to say. If you have been around a man long enough to know his tendencies, you should already know what words might push his buttons.. Now I can admit that it takes a lot to push my buttons, but one word is off topic with me; my kids. Do not and I mean do not say anything that has anything to do with my three kids. No, I will not physically hit a female if they say something that is suppose to hurt my feelings when it comes to them, but just know that my words are piercing and you better make sure you are perfect. No, I do not justify that, but that right there is my tipping point. Men, I know it is hard not to react, but if it was a man, would you jump in his face?

My close friend told me that she was abused by her ex more than once and all I can ask is why? Why did you allow it more than once? Because I look at it like this. If a man hits you once and you stay, he will always feel like he can hit you again. And again and again. One time should be enough. Shit, it should never happen in the first place to be honest with you. And the more and more I hear about the abuse my friend has taken over the years, the more and more I stare at this dudes pictures and realize when I see him, it's going to take a lot for me not to put this size 12 across his ass. Real talk. Women, do not let these sorry ass dudes think that you can become their personal punching bag. Leave, regardless of how good he might be piping you down. Because somewhere out there is a man who can lay the pipe down good and will not lay his hands down hard.

I can admit that recently, I got into an altercation and the results was not something to talk about or brag about. I let my anger and her words get the best of me. No, I didn't strike her, but what I wanted to do and almost committed was not cool at all and I have to live with the results of what happen. Men, it's time to become men and treat women like you want someone to treat your mother, sister, or daughter. Because there are five women I will go to jail over if anybody puts a hand on them, not including my female friends, cousins and aunts, etc, my mom, my three sisters and especially my daughter. Now even though my mom and sisters are known to handle their own, they are still women. When it comes to my daughter, I really do not even want to talk about that. That is how much my daughter means to me. Now I know eventually I will add another female to that list (To whoever becomes my woman), but it is in no way cool for men to beat on women.

There might be only one way I can condone a man putting his hands on a woman. If you are trying to kill me or you have a weapon, all bets are off. Now I'm not going to say I will beat you senseless, but I will do whatever I have to do to protect myself.

Men, if you really want to beat on something, beat your meat. Abuse that. If you really want to get tough, get tough with someone who can go toe to toe with you. But to do it with a woman that you say I love you to is not and never will be cool.

Think about it.

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